9.21.16

Put the romance novel down.

Yeah I know they’re addicting and make you feel as though a “happily ever after” is possible, but the truth is, what you’re reading are merely words. Words written on a page. Someone else’s imagination. They do not reflect the relationships of two ever present human beings. Instead of indulging in these fantasies, you should focus on real life. 

So there’s this boy that you are seemingly “in love” with. He makes your heart pound every time you see him, and he knows exactly what to say to make you smile. What do you do? Dream of the “perfect guy”, compare what he does to what other guys do, see if you guys are a match, right? But that really shouldn’t be the focus of your relationship. Instead, you should focus on getting to know the other person. Really getting to know them. Knowing his favorite colors, favorite food, and what he likes that you do, isn’t enough. You should delve deeper and have more meaningful conversations. For example, ask each other how your days went and why they were either excellent or awful. Or perhaps ask each other what one thing you’ve always wanted to do is.

Having more meaningful conversations separates the people who are “just friends” and those who care about each other in a more profound way. Of course, you’re not going to just ask the guy you just met what his biggest fears are, because that might just scare him away. But if you really want to strengthen your relationship and get to know each other even more, go further than just small talk. Simply attraction isn’t enough to keep couples together (no matter what chick flicks and romance novels say), communication and trust are more important and you gain those by communicating and opening up to each other.

 

-Your 16 year old self